Monday, August 6, 2012

Drugs… Drugs… and more Drugs (and not the good kind) :

I must have “tried” at least 6 different types of medication to either prevent or relieve my symptoms. Each medication had a new and very unpleasant side effect.  It was pure torture!  Not to mention, I spent many  nights, mornings, weekends with my husband by my side in the emergency room getting intravenous pain medication for the migraine headaches that were so bad I was sure they would kill me.  All my husband could do was hold my hand or place cold and hot compresses on my head or neck to try to help relieve the pain. When the oral medication and compresses failed or I just could not take one – more - second (some of these episodes lasted several days!) we gave in and went to the ER for treatment.  I have quite the collection of IV scars on my arms to remind me of the torture and torment I have endured.   So far, since this mystery illness began, I have lost my sight… literally I went blind a number of times, I lost my hearing once, blurred vision became a way of life, I have been paralyzed on one side of my body or the other, dealt with frustrating stuttering and slurred speech, and the vertigo… the vertigo is horrific! I was sure at some point I might just die! I became so horribly depressed I remember sending a text to a friend that said “If I wasn’t such a coward, I would kill myself.”  I spent days crying and I could not go to sleep without my husband right beside me because I was so afraid that tomorrow would never come for me. It was a horrible existence I was living in pure misery. I honestly didn’t think I could take much more. Remember this all started in November 2011 at this point I was dealing with this suffering and torture on and off for several months, something had to be done or I was going to loose my mind!

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