I AM – living in a place of gratitude

I went into the hospital this morning for what should be my final round of tests.  Because I have been living with this medical mystery for a year now, I have been very emotional about it. Finally today I am getting the tests that should give me all the answers I need. I feel relieved and anxious all at the same time. Even though I know who my chief medical attendant is (God)!  I must admit, I am still feeling a certain kind of way that’s very difficult to describe.  I guess it’s to be expected, it has been quite a build up, until now; I have basically been walking around not knowing and today… well in a week or so I will get these test results back and I will finally know.  No more; Ms. Haynes, “we think”, “it might be”, or random drug experiments.  I cannot believe all this started last year! If someone would have told me that I would be minding my own business one minute and riding in an ambulance to the emergency room the next and… that the saga would go on and on for 12 long months,  I would have slapped them in the mouth!  

 

I have been struggling and living in constant chaos and fear, bouncing from Dr. to Dr. and fighting with my health insurance company all while trying to cope with everything that was happening within my body.  I have had to contend with everything from severe vertigo, long nights in the emergency room getting IV medication to treat a migraine that has gone on for several days, partial paralysis, loss of hearing and even blindness just to name a few! I can say, I have been to the edge and back a few times! 

There were times when I was sure I was going to lose my entire mind or die.  There were times when I wanted to die. Somewhere inside of me I found the strength to push through it and kick and fight my way out! It has not been easy; there have been days I could barely get out of my bed.  But I managed to get through.  And every day has been better than the last.   I pray these tests show nothing that can’t be fixed, I pray they show nothing at all! I am mixed with fear, anxiety and relief.  I realize I have come a long way since this all began a year ago and I feel stronger and healthier than ever.  I have even lost weight… but it’s so much bigger than a few pounds on a scale, I have been fighting to get my life back and I feel, finally, like I am winning! No matter what these tests discover, I will continue on this path of taking care of my whole person and cherishing and celebrating every single minute of my life! It’s amazing how much more beautiful everything appears when you have literally experienced what it is like to go blind or, how much movement is cherished after you have lost the ability to do so.  I have had my fair share of pity parties … no I have not yet “arrived”  as a matter of fact, I’m still on the bus on my way there… I may need to make a few transfers but, I am getting there. 

 

Sometimes, I regret not taking better care of myself from the very beginning; maybe I would not have found myself in this position. But ultimately I can’t look back; I must keep my focus forward. I still stand firm in the belief that everything happens for a reason. These challenges I have been faced with have helped me to learn to live in the moment completely.  I think I have always been one foot in the moment and one foot someplace else.  Now, I appreciate every single moment in life, from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I drift off to sleep at night.  A beautiful change has taken place within me… I want to live a fearless life and I want to love with wild abandon!  I want to be present in the moment. I want to be a participant in life not just part of the audience.  The truth that has been revealed to me living “this” close to the edge, not knowing if I will wake up tomorrow or, if today will be the last day I see my babies smile or look into my husband’s big beautiful brown eyes is; I don’t know what the next moment will bring but, I do know I do not want my last moment to be in a place of regret, sadness, anger or fear.   I receive these challenges I have faced with gratitude.  

I Am …. living in a place of gratitude. 

 

Juice Recipe: Orange Spinach Basil Smoothie

This is a delicious and refreshing smoothie ideal for a breakfast pick me up.

I discovered this recipe on the wonderful YouTube Channel, Fully Raw by Kristina Carrillo-Bucaram . When I happened upon this recipe, I knew I had to give it a try and now,  I am officially hooked! I realize this is more of a summertime drink but that's OK with me! For me, this is a very refreshing, wonderful morning pick me up breakfast smoothie. 

I made three changes to this recipe, because this was a juice for one, I used 10oz of fresh squeezed orange juice and, 1/2 cup of spinach. I also added one whole lemon to the juice. I added the lemon simply because I enjoy lemon in my juices, I include them in almost every recipe!  Give this juice recipe a try, I think you will be hooked too! Let me know what you think!

From Fully Raw:
The Low Fat Raw Vegan Smoothie Recipe:
1 Pint of Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice
1 Cup Fresh Spinach
Half to One Cup of Fresh Basil or Cilantro

Check out the full recipe demo below:

Eat Organic And Save Tons Of Money: Visit Your Local Farmer's Market!

It was a beautiful day to visit our local Farmer's Market

You can afford to eat healthy organic fruits and veggies, just shop your local farmers market.

Every now and then someone will ask me, how we can afford to feed our family of 4 all that organic "stuff." Many people think its too expensive to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, and even more expensive to eat organic fruits and vegetables. My secret... I shop for our family's fresh fruit and veggies at our local farmers market almost every Saturday. Buying locally grown fruits and vegetables not only supports our local farmers and our community it also ensures we are getting the absolute freshest, unaltered, chemical free fruits and vegetables for our family. And we even save money on our produce bill! During an average Saturday morning trip to our farmers market, we spend about $30 dollars and bring home bags and bags of yummy fresh fruits and veggies! These items can last about a week, keep in mind I am the only Vegan in the house so I eat a larger portion of the whole foods, I also juice daily, so my thoughts are if you are a family of 4 non vegans simply trying to eat more fruits and vegetables the same items that last us a week might last you a bit longer if stored correctly.

Of course buying from our local farmers means we can only purchase what is in season and locally grown, for example it may be summer and lemons are in season but we don't grow lemons in Maryland. But we do grow watermelon and cantaloupes and tomatoes and... =) In this case, there might be an item or two that I will pick up from our local organic market, a good example are bananas, we love bananas, we use them in smoothies and in cereal and in almond butter and banana sandwiches. (our youngest daughter's favorite snack!) So, I will spend a few dollars on bananas or any other item that is not locally grown but on the menu for the week. Here is another way we save money on our produce bill. If we are going to purchase any items that are not available locally, we make sure these are items on the menu for the week so it does not go to waste. This week I purchased some oranges... they will be used in smoothies, salads and juice.

One of the juices I made with our Farmer's Market goodies and the store bought organic oranges.

*Get the recipe for this yummy juice here: Orange, Basil, Spinach Smoothie

This weekend take a trip to your local farmers market. Enjoy a relaxing stroll, speak with the farmers/vendors take in the fresh air and enjoy the touch and taste of some of the local offerings. You will discover the community is welcoming and friendly. You can really learn a lot from talking with the local farmers. You will also discover its not as expensive as you may think  In fact, its not expensive at all, we simply have to choose to "afford it"! 

Next post, I will cover purchasing organic items that are not produce related and how we keep that shopping bill under control.

A few items from our shopping spree at the Farmer's Market! We even got some honey from the honey man! :)

One Step At A Time...

How can you get started on your health and wellness journey?

One Step At A Time....

If the woman I am now could talk to the girl I was then...

 

Reflection: 

That's me at age 13.

If the woman I am now could talk to the girl I was then...

I would hug her tight, and tell her, no matter what I love her.

She is the opposite of everything they will say she is.

She is loved.

She is beautiful.

She is smart.

And she is strong.

She is a gift and a blessing.

Her life is valuable.

She is powerful beyond measure.

And when it's all said and done, she will look back on all she will go through, exhale and say...

I'm still here!

 

 

 

Morning Inspiration

One Workout, Many Benefits...

One workout, many benefits! With this weight ball work out, I worked body parts I didn't know I had! C.I.P.

 

 

Update on my Battle Rope Session: Ibuprofen!

Battle....

This morning I went into battle...

Looking to add something new to my workout I went to visit a local gym that offers the rope work out also known as battle ropes and rope training. This is much more difficult than the professionals make it look! It was hard but it was a lot of fun! I will absolutely do this again! C. I. P. (Christine in Progress)

Trying Something New..

This morning I am on my way to try something new...